In the bestseller, “The Courage to be Disliked,” authors Kishimi and Koga encourage readers to think freely, change their lives, and find happiness in being themselves, even if that means being disliked.
Having been disliked by people throughout my life, I have experienced feelings that accompany such distinction, including loneliness, shame, and depression. What has comforted me is the belief that my Father in heaven loves me, so it matters far less to me what others think or feel about me. I grasped Romans 8:31 as a personal shield of sorts whenever I felt attacked: “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (NKJV)
This trust helped me every time I was tempted to please others at the jeopardy of abandoning my principles. For example, while teaching high school students, I could have chosen to seek friendship with my students rather than upholding my belief that teachers should be respected as legitimate authority figures.
Thus I struggled with maintaining cordial relationships with disrespectful students. One day a particularly hateful student laughed derisively at my uncompromising declaration about the upcoming due date of an assignment. She mocked me to hilarious appreciative laughter and then said with venom, “And you wonder why students hate you.” Several students gasped at her audacity and looked at me worriedly, wondering how I would respond.
My answer surprised them all that day as much as it did all of my previous classes.
My response every time was: “I know why students hate me. Research shows that people learn better when they are uncomfortable. I do not need to be liked by you. If I were your friend, I wouldn’t be doing my job.”
When they grumbled too loudly, I elaborated with an example: “One day, years from now, I want you to hear my voice when you’re filling out a job application. It will grate in your ears: ‘Where’s your period? It isn’t a sentence if it doesn’t have punctuation’ and ‘The subject of a sentence will never, ever, ever, ever, never, ever, ever, NEVER EVER be in an introductory clause.'” Yes, I really did say it just like that. Almost daily.
I told them my goal was to teach them skills so that one day they could get a job and keep a job.
Even if they hated me for it. Because one day, it might save their life. That’s how much I loved them. Even the ones who hated me.
What kinds of things do you do for the greater benefit of others that causes them to dislike you?
BIO: Shelley Allen is a writer, editor, poet, mother of four and grandmother of five. She is the author of Master Fibonacci: The Man Who Changed Math. Allen holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in English and a Master’s Degree in Secondary Education from Southern Methodist University. A former teacher and Christian bookstore owner, Allen is a bibliophile with broad literary interests. She works professionally as a freelance writer from her home in Dallas, Texas. Her website is RuthlessRedPen.com.
Published on Tuesday, April 30, 2019 @ 8:22 PM CDT
Sometimes you think that you have a very clear memory of something that happened to you as a baby, but some things you remember were really placed in your memory by the accounts of people telling you the story as you grow older. I am not alone. We all have our share of this kind of memory. I was probably a ten-month-old baby when this happened, but I grew up seeing the mark of the bullet on the doorframe. It was too real for me. It wasn’t only by the account of people that I remember this incident of G-d’s protection.
Somebody had come to get me from my crib, after I woke up crying. At the same time, across the street, a neighbor, a police chief no less, was having a party at his house and was drinking beyond a reasonable amount. He stepped outside and, pointing his gun to the sky, fired a shot. On his second shot he lost his balance, and the bullet came straight through the window of the bedroom where I had been sleeping. The person taking care of me picked me up and, without knowing, had a split second to turn me around and keep the bullet from hitting my head. Her ear was grazed by that bullet that went through the hallway and exited through a closed door in the front of the house.
As I was growing up, whenever I looked at the marks on the frame of the window and on the doorpost, I knew a miracle had happened and that the Angels of the Lord had sprung into action to protect me from what clearly was an attack from the enemy of our souls. As a child, maybe my mind could not grasp the greatness of what had taken place, or how bad things could have been. In a split second, I could have perished. A baby killed by a stray bullet. How tragic. But G-d had a different plan. As a grown woman, I know the Lord, in his faithfulness, turned the plans of the enemy upside down and spared my life, so He could be glorified and honored and exalted! I don’t take my life for granted. I thank G-d for every day I wake up to see the sunrise once again. G-d sustains me and gives me one beautiful day at a time. There are days that don’t look so beautiful; there are times when it looks like the enemy will prevail, but God has a promise for us in His word: No weapon made will prevail against you. (Isaiah 54:17). I have decided that I will not live one single day if it is not in His presence. His way of protection is much better than humankind could ever come up with.
How has God protected you, my friend? Can you recall a moment when you can clearly see that G-d went out of His way to protect you? Or maybe you didn’t even notice. But one day, when we stand before Him, we will see the many times when his glorious angels were summoned by Him, to take us under their wings. I want to thank you, Lord! Thank you for your protection! I praise you today, Adonai! For the many ways that you show your love and care for me. I worship you, my King and Redeemer!!
BIO: Debbie Buffone's complete story is included in Stories of Roaring Faith, Volume 3. She is an amazing woman, who loves God and people. She is a great Volunteer for Roaring Lambs, a facilitator for the Testimony Workshops, handles social media, and helps with data entry. Most of all, she is a servant of our Lord.
Published on Tuesday, April 30, 2019 @ 5:32 PM CDT
The most famous landmark at Yellowstone National Park is Old Faithful. For the past 135 years, this geyser has erupted like clockwork every 90 minutes. It doesn’t get much more faithful than that.
If only everything and everyone in our lives was like Old Faithful.
But sometimes our expectations are not met, or we are disappointed by people. That’s when we need to turn to our faithful Father in Heaven. 2 Timothy 2:13 says, “If we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot disown himself.”
When our family spent a week at Yellowstone National Park, we admired some spectacular landscapes, it was humbling to realize that God made the beautiful scenery for our pleasure. He is a good God, and when we put our trust in him, he takes the most horrific situations in our lives and works good out of them.
There’s no one more faithful.
Psalm 117 says we should give God a hand for his faithfulness, “Praise God, everybody! Applaud God, all people! His love has taken over our lives; God’s faithful ways are eternal. Hallelujah! (MSG) When I admire God's spectacular creation and think about His presence in my own life, I am thankful, because He guides me through every scenario, both good and bad.
He is a faithful Father.
BIO: Lisa Burkhardt Worley is an award winning author and speaker, and is the Director of Special Projects for Roaring Lambs Ministries. She is also the founder of Pearls of Promise Ministries, a ministry with a goal of helping women overcome dysfunction in their lives. Lisa has co-authored many books in. cluding: the Pearls of Promise devotional, If I Only Had…Wrapping Yourself in God’s Truth During Storms of Insecurity, and The Most Powerful P: A Child’s Introduction to the Power of Prayer.
Published on Thursday, January 31, 2019 @ 4:10 PM CDT
“It snowed last night,” I cried out in delight. As a child, I loved spending weekends at my parents’ cabin in the mountains near Lake Arrowhead, CA. When it snowed, white blanketed the pine trees and carpeted the ground. Footprints had not yet marred the landscape. Everything seemed so fresh, pristine, new.
As an adult, do you ever want a fresh start? I do. I usually don’t make New Year’s resolutions, but this year I am more reflective. The new year brings prospects for change, becoming unburdened with past mistakes and seizing new opportunities. But to do so takes work. That is why my number one priority for the new year is to think about what I am thinking about.
You have heard it said, “As a man thinketh, so is he.” Scientists have confirmed this by discovering that negative thoughts stemming from emotions such as repressed anger, fear, guilt, and unforgiveness trigger chemical reactions in our brain and body and lead to poor health outcomes. Researchers state that over 75% of illnesses can be attributed to negative thinking. Conversely, positive thoughts, such as gratefulness, lead to increased resiliency, decreased stress, and improved immune system functioning. Being aware of my positive and negative thoughts is important because I have multiple sclerosis, an autoimmune disease, but it is also important for EVERYONE.
We can’t always change our circumstances but we can choose our response.
Even when we experience difficult times, we can find reasons to be grateful. Being disabled and in a wheelchair, it is easy to overlook good things and focus on what I can’t do any more. Your situation may be different than mine, but everyone has challenges. This coming year I plan to keep a journal of things I am thankful for, then review it daily, especially when I start to feel “down in the dumps.”
How Do I Get Started?
Some people find it useful to write in a notebook, but for me it is easier to keep the journal on my phone. I started by just jotting down a list on the Notes app on my phone, but of course there is an app for everything, so find one that works for you.
What Do I Include?
Recognizing the little things is important. It’s a good idea to try and write a certain number of things down each day – maybe three or more. Try not to repeat things on your list. You can write about things that happened in your day, physical things (like your favorite shirt or a comfy bed), people in your life, and your abilities. Include why you are grateful for each item and how it makes you feel. For example:
-I am grateful for my Sleep Number bed because in the morning I can make the mattress firmer and the head raises up so I can get out of bed by myself. This makes me feel more independent.
-I am grateful for my 2 ½ year old granddaughter coming over to play with her new princess toy because there is such joy in seeing a child delighted.
Think about and thank God for the things on your list several times each day: morning, noon, and night. I have a wallhanging in my house that says, “Thankful, Grateful, Blessed.” This reminds me to be grateful to God for all of His blessings.
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
James 1:17 (NIV)
BIO: Dr. Sherry Ryan is a blogger, writer and speaker. She retired in 2013 from the University of North Texas as an Associate Professor of Information Technology and Decision Sciences. Prior to earning her doctorate, she worked for IBM, teaching courses and speaking at national conferences.
Sherry's blog SeatedExpectations.com provides "Inspiration and Information for Overcoming Life's Challenges."
Published on Wednesday, January 2, 2019 @ 1:36 PM CDT
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. (James 1:2-4 English Standard Version)
Trials aren’t considered joyful occasions by many people. Instead they are times of high stress. Even though trials happen, we must remember that they aren’t accidents or mistakes. Trials are also under the control of God.
Does that mean that God is evil since He allows these things to happen? Of course not! Nothing that the Lord does is for evil. There’s a good reason for hardships to come our way.
One of those reasons is that God wants us to rely on Him for strength in such ordeals. When we strive to overcome the hardships ourselves, we drain ourselves spiritually and become burned out. However, if we turn to God, He’ll give us what we need to overcome, according to His will.
Furthermore, God knows what’s best for us. Whether we like it or not, trials are necessary for us to grow into to the people that we are called to be. Trials are an exercise of the soul.
Why should we depend on God when trials come? We trust in the Lord because He sees the big picture. The whole world is like a giant tapestry filled with all manner of color and themes. Each of us has a specific role in this masterpiece and everything that happens to us, both good and bad, forms us into a paint stroke, which makes the artwork more beautiful. Therefore, knowing that God sees the big picture, we can endure the trials of life like an athlete who endures hardship in training. He does so because he knows that it will produce great results in the end.
The trials that we have talked about so far are what happen when we faithfully serve the Lord. The other trials that we face happen either because of outside sources that are beyond our control or by consequences from poor choices. I am not suggesting that God does not have a say in such trials; far from it. As a matter of fact, He usually uses such situations to open our hearts and eyes, and make us see how much we need Him.
With all this in mind, let us not run away from the difficulties when they come our way. Instead, let’s strive to find joy when we face these trials. Not because these difficulties are pleasant, but because we understand that they will help us to be strong in our faith.
A wise man once said that it isn’t about how hard you are hit in life, it is about how hard you get hit and not go down. Let us not let hardships cause us to despair, but let us turn to the Lord in prayer. When we do, we find the strength to push on.
BIO: Bruce Sims was born in Southern California, but the place where he was spiritually born in Christ was in North Texas. He received his Master’s in Education at Dallas Theological Seminary and teaches ESL at an Elementary School. He enjoys spending his spare time having many adventures with his wife Aimee.
His favorite Bible verse is Romans 12:1, which calls us to live life sacrificially for God. He has written several poetry and Bible devotionals, which can be found on Amazon.
Published on Wednesday, November 28, 2018 @ 7:14 PM CDT
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